After almost having my head chopped off at the executioner’s block, I was faced with my first major decision: Stormcloaks or Imperials. This was an easy choice, as the Stormcloaks quite literally wear dead animals at all times.
In fact, after equipping armour to fulfil Skyrim’s tutorial, I immediately stripped naked. All armour in Skyrim requires leather strips to craft, and as a vegan, leather was a definite no-no. I also eschewed a steel sword in favour of Destruction magic. I would not succumb to the anti-vegan sentiments of Skyrim’s exploitative blacksmiths. This was to be the hard life of Joaquin, a high elf going vegan in a world without the online recipes and pop-up restaurants to accommodate it.
The bear that inspired me to attempt this playthrough, one of Skyrim’s first encounters, appeared shortly afterwards. He didn’t share my pacifist sentiments and attempted to rip my head off. I didn’t yet have a Calm spell at my disposal, so opted to run away as quickly as possible. The bear would have to settle for eating the spiders that I also avoided on my way out of the cave. Sorry, spiders, but it was you or me.